Today's post is a rant about idiot drivers. Now, I happen to be talking about Massachusetts drivers, but I'm sure many of you can substitute your own state, or country (except maybe those of you that drive on the wrong side of the road).

I am sick to death of morons behind the wheel. They run red lights, don't come to complete stops (if the slow down at all) at stop signs, pass on the wrong side, tailgate, speed and most annoying of all, they never use their directionals.

Why do they think car companies go through the trouble and expense of making sure all cars have those nifty little things if we aren't supposed to use them? Not to mention the fact that if you don't have them functional you can't pass your safety inspection. There's a big indication right there, isn't it? Uh - duh!

I used to think that modern science should come up with a way to give drivers a tiny little shock when they forgot to use their directional. Nothing major. Just something mild, like when you were a kid and you'd press your tongue against the top of a 9-volt battery. Come on, you know you did it. What? Oh come on! You did it, we all did it. Seriously? Well, fine. Go find a 9-volt battery. We'll wait. .................

Ok, now that you're familiar with the metallic taste and involuntary shudder (btw, has anyone ever told you that you're easily led?), you can appreciate the level of shock that I was talking about. A teensy little zap from the steering wheel to the hand to let you know you screwed up. But, upon reflection, the idiots would use it as an excuse for accidents that were really their own fault, and who knows what it might do to elderly drivers with heart conditions. So... a new idea.

I think car makers need to channel the geniuses of Warner Bros. Termite Terrace (look it up) and team up with the Acme folks to equip automobiles with a device that will keep a record of all the dumb-ass things people do while they drive. You know, sort of like those new things that insurance companies have that record all the good things you do. Well, if they can record the good things.... Right.

So stay with me on this. We have a little gizmo ala Acme recording all the stupid crap a driver does while out on the road. And when the driver arrives at his or her destination, another Acme gem comes out of the car; a robot. Yup! Just like the ones from the cartoons. A robot that will kick you right up the ass for being a nuisance on the road! Ok, maybe not a whole robot. Maybe a mechanical arm can come out of the door and hold you in place while a boot can come up out of the seat and kick you. But no disabling it like you can airbags. And standard issue - not optional.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's extreme and very unrealistic. but don't pretend that the next time you're on the road and some jackass cuts you off that you won't picture this remedy and wish it could happen.

Hero