Now, if you've read my book (and if you haven't, you need to!), then this sentiment needs no explanation. No matter what your feelings about the feline species, once an obnoxious blonde Amazon who can shift into an orange tabby tries to kill you, you're just never going to have the same affection for them.

But even before my encounter with the gargantuan Garfield, I wasn't much of a cat person. Oh, other people's cats were ok, because you didn't have to live with them. Sort of like kids. It's fun to visit them and play with them and even spoil them, but that doesn't mean you want all the responsibility and headaches 24/7.

I'd rather have a dog, thank you. I know, you're thinking, why don't you have a dog? Well, we did have a dog, but we had to find him a new home when mom got sick. It was horrible, having to send Buddy to a new home. Mom loved him so much. He was just a rescue mutt, but she adored him. She had had him for over twelve years. And now that she's gone, it just doesn't seem right for me to have one when I never know when I'm going to go away for a weekend or whatever. There's no one else to take care of a pet if I go away.

And while some people say with a cat you can leave them for a few days or whatever, I still wouldn't have one. They get on your counters and tables. I don't care what anyone says, you may be able to train them to stay off the counters and tables when you're home, but when you're out, they do as they please. I've gone to water plants and collect mail for friends on vacation and found their perfectly trained cats on the counter, in the sink, lounging on tables, etc. And they look at me like "What? You don't live here, what do I care what you think?"

Dogs don't do that. You train a dog, he's trained. And even if you have a stubborn dog that just really wants to lie on the couch, the second he hears anyone approaching, he's going to run and make sure whoever comes through that door sees a good dog. See - right there - dogs are smarter.

You can train dogs to do all sorts of things. What can you train cats to do? Use a litter box, come when they hear the can opener. Yay! Big deal. Dogs are company. The comfort and cuddle and have such expressive faces. Cats are aloof, they come to you when they want something out of it. If you call them and they come it's because it suits their needs. If it doesn't, they ignore you or even leave the room to get away from you. Dogs are happy to see you when you come home, no matter what. Come hell or high water, no matter what kind of day you've had, you open that door at the end of the day and there's a happy little face and a wagging tail to great you. With a cat, you might get greeted with an "oh, it's you. Decided to come home did you?" attitude.

Dogs play with you, and not with fuzzy catnip toys that you have to use to dope them up to get them to play. They want to be with you. They know instinctively when you need them to be near you. They also provide protection and a sense of security. Despite the joke signs, is any home really protected by an attack cat?

And for those of you who want to argue that cats are smarter, let me leave you with this thought.... Ever hear of a seeing-eye-cat? How about bomb-sniffing cats and drug-sniffing cats, or police squads with feline units? Cats trained to assist kids who have seizures or other serious ailments? Ever see a cat with a barrel around its neck for saving people in the Swiss Alps? Yeah, that's what I thought. Dogs Rule!!!