What is with the bizarre Dairy Queen commercials? Bubbles with kittens? Rock n' roll falcons? Mary Lou Retton in a piñata? Does any of that make you want to run out and buy a Blizzard?

Well, ok, granted, if you're anything like me, just the mere mention of Dairy Queen is enough to make you want a blizzard. But seriously, is this an effective ad campaign? Is Dairy Queen aka DQ not already a household brand, known far and wide across the USA? It's not like an upstart company trying to build brand recognition with crack-pot guerrilla tactic advertising. They're already well established.

Sooooooooo - then what the hell's up with the dumb ass commercials? I don't think they are clever or funny. In fact, it makes me question the sanity of both DQs top executives and the PR firm they are using. Just think - somewhere there is someone getting paid a ridiculous amount of money for this ad campaign. It boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Not that their previous campaign with the disembodied talking lips was much better. Too Rocky Horror. And I love Rocky Horror. I'm a member of the Official Fan Club! But I don't want Rocky Horror hawking my DQ. Just too creepy.

Oh you silly, silly DQ people. Don't you realize that your products sell themselves? Don't you know that in places where your shops are only open seasonally, customers go running through the streets announcing opening day like Steve Martin getting a new phone book?

Hey - go back to using the Dennis the Menace kids! They were cute. Who doesn't like cartoon kids? Better than a rock n' roll falcon. Even if he does mention Boston.

Yes, you read that right. Today I saw a commercial for testosterone replacement medication. For men who want to replace testosterone that lessens naturally with age. Let me repeat the key phrase in that sentence - that lessens NATURALLY. Meaning that's the way the body is supposed to work.

But now, some drug company has put it out there that they can reverse this natural process and replace the testosterone so guys can feel younger and more virile. You know, it was one thing when Oil of Olay and things came out for women's skin, but products like this and Viagra and Enzyte (God I hate the Enzyte commercials!) and now this other product are out there making men believe they're not supposed to age at all. That they're supposed to behave physically at 60 the way they were at 25. Give me a break!

Does it irritate anyone else that pharmaceutical companies spend millions of dollars (and take up precious FDA time and resources) for Viagra and Enzyte type products, and and now testosterone replacements! Ugh! I'm sorry, but wouldn't all that money, time, experience, skill, resources etc, etc, etc, be much better spent on serious diseases and conditions?

Yeah, yeah. Some people say that because some guys can't get it up it may lead to other problems, like depression etc. But seriously, maybe we are a society too preoccupied with sex as it is. I like sex as much as the next gal, but I'd rather see them working on a cure for cancer or MS, MD, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's or any number of other really serious medical problems. And even if you think erectile dysfunction is something to be dealt with, ok fine, but "male enhancement"? Replacing testosterone? Ugh.

Sorry, but I really want to slap that smile off of Smiling Bob's face.

Hero.