Is this the 1950's again? Did I miss the ride in the souped up DeLorean? Where are the saddle shoes, bobby socks, crew cuts and Letterman jackets? Are those 45s of Fats Domino, Little Richard, Elvis and the Everly Brothers I hear pumping out of the old Wurlitzer? Hello? McFly?

Well, then explain to me the huge rash of 3D everywhere you look. 3D movies aren't enough. Oh no. No, we've got to have 3D televisions in our home now! We even have to branch out into 4D with scratch n' sniff (I've got one word - Polyester - look it up if you don't get the reference).

Ok, fine so 3D effects are cool, but how cool are they when you see them in every other movie? And what's going to happen next? Will stores start selling designer 3D glasses for those that are too chic for the paper style? Can't you just see it now. Special kiosks in the mega-plex theater filled with 3D glasses by Marc Jacobs, Playboy, Gucci, Channel, Dolce & Gabanna, Versace, DKNY, perhaps Disney and Nick will have their own lines for the tots. What am I saying? No maybe about it! If there's a market to be cashed in on you know they'll be leading the way.

Ugh! Can't you just see the Old Navy mannequins hawking them now? In a rainbow of colors for the whole family! *squee!* Combine that with the 3D effects and you'll need to be selling anti-nausea medicine at the concession stands.

Franky, I think it's just another way for Hollywood to cover up that it just keeps cranking out one crappy movie after another. Gee, if we dazzle them with 3D, not only will they pay to see it in the theater, netting us more cash, but they will hardly notice how much it sucks!

Don't buy into the propaganda people! Demand quality movies with quality stories, casting and directing, not just cool effects.

In a world where Hollywood can barely seem to come up with new movie material (unless it arrives in the form of a comic book, pardon me, graphic novel) I've often wondered why no one has thought to revive Love Boat. But, dear God, not as a movie!

Can you even begin to imagine the pain and horror that would be Love Boat: The Movie? *shudders* Ugh! One crotch/bodily function joke after another, interlaced with completely gratuitous nudity and more sex than an evening on Cinemax After Dark. And the cast. Ew! I can't go there. You'll have to imagine that one yourselves. It's too much for me.

However, handled properly, with the right touch of lighthearted comedy, an occasional touch of drama or pathos, maybe even a bit of mystery, it could be done. You'd need a top notch writing team. One with a proven track record at writing for ensemble cast comedies, such as Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond or even Hot in Cleveland (I can't help myself, I adore Betty White and the show is freaking hysterical!).

Americans love to laugh. It's a fact. And Saturday night TV just hasn't been the same since Love Boat and Fantasy Island left. Though, I must admit, I did like the remake of Fantasy Island with Malcolm McDowell. Very different from Ricardo Montalbán, but very entertaining just the same. A fun comedy like the Love Boat, with different story lines every week, different guest stars, etc. I think it's time for a revival!

And lo-o-ove, won't hurt anymore, It's an open smile on a friendly shore..... Everybody - SING!

You often hear people speak of the "Golden Era" of Hollywood. That time in history when studios competed against one another for supremacy; to be the yardstick by which all other movie studios were measured. When stars were truly stars; paragons of style, elegance and class adored and admired by millions of fans all over the world.

Studios created the stars then. They were factories of illusion and magic, and while there were some definite disadvantages to the old studio system, when we look back at it all you can't help but think that some of their ways had their merit. They controlled the publicity, so all you heard were good things, upbeat and happy things. Sure, there was a lot of denial and even out right lies, but it wasn't all rehab and divorce and affairs and scandals. Celebrities were expected to keep up appearances if they wanted to keep their contracts. No rowdy underage partying til all hours of the morning and rumors of substance abuse, etc. Basically, no acting like a spoiled little princess that the world revolves around who can say and do as she pleases and the rest of the world just has to cope with it, and when you do finally have to pay the piper you blame your parents. (*ahem* I'm sure you can think of more than one disastrous diva who fits that bill).

Nope - if you wanted to be a star in Hollywood, you had to tow the line. Oh sure, if you were really big you could get away with a certain amount of foolishness, and of course all homosexuals were kept securely in their closets, but you had to answer to someone (actually a lot of someones) if you didn't behave. Call me old fashioned but I like that concept.

Of course, I suppose some will say 'oh but they're real people they should be able to show their real emotions and behave like normal people....' Excuse me?! Are you telling me Lindsay Lohan behaves like normal people? Hardly! No, they think they can act anyway they want because they're famous. If they were just normal everyday people with 9 to 5 jobs, or full time school, they would not behave like they do. And of course, they do have real emotions etc, etc. but when they are out somewhere at a function or event, they are working and need to handle themselves professionally. And even when they go out to a nightclub or a restaurant, they trade on their reputations. It's not outrageous to expect a certain level of behavior.

Though, yes, there are some who do handle themselves quite well, I don't mean to imply that all Hollywood is out of control. But even still, it's not the same. There's no real glamor. That true star quality is lost. We'll never have another Cary Grant, another Grace Kelly, another Clark Gable or Tyrone Power, another Elizabeth Taylor or Ingrid Bergman. Gone are the Bette Davis' and Jimmy Stewart's of the silver screen. Sure, we have our Tom Hanks. How can you knock him? But as wonderful as he is and as fabulous as his accomplishments have been, he just isn't quite up to that caliber, though possibly the closest our generation might have. Alright, George Clooney comes damn close to the style and charisma, though it did take him most of his career to achieve it (I remember him in a comedy show called ER even before he was on Roseanne!). I'll give you that he comes about as close as anyone I can think of to channeling that old Hollywood glamor.

And yes, we have lots of lovely actresses and greatly talented ones too. But I'm sorry, I like Julia Roberts, but she's no Ingrid Bergman. Though I will say I think Halle Berry is quite possibly one of the most naturally beautiful women in the entire world. Close cropped hair, not a stich of makeup and in jeans and a t-shirt and the woman is still breath-taking. There's a certain charm, a grace, an indescribable quality that's been lost somewhere along the way and I think it's due in part to losing the mystery of what makes a star a star. They are all so intent on showing you how regular and normal they are (well most of them). They don't care about being seen without makeup, dressed in sloppy clothes with their hair not done. Today's stars don't want there to be any illusion. And while I can see their side, I can't help the feeling that it's a shame. The believing that they were somehow above the everyday people, while, yes, being snotty and presumptuous, also added to the magic. It was part of the dream. If becoming a movie star or a rock star or whatever is looked at as no more different or special than becoming a dentist or a lawyer (simply something you have to train for and get a good break on to be successful), then where's the dream? What's happened to the magic?

(Now, don't get confused, if you are like some people I know who just breeze through, you might think I am contradicting myself, saying oh they think they don't have to answer to anyone etc, and then saying oh remember when they seemed above us all, but you have to really read and comprehend the full substance of those paragraphs. There IS a difference.)

And there, in large part I think, lies part of the trouble with Hollywood today. Where's the magic? Stop remaking old movies. Stop going for the quick, cheap laugh. Worry about crafting quality movies with valuable stories. I don't mean valuable in the sense of they all have to have a moral etc. I mean valuable in the sense that they are worth telling and worth telling beautifully. I know not as many people are willing to pay full price for a theater ticket any more so they cater to certain types of audiences they think will pay the price of admission. They don't realize how short sighted that is. Movies have longevity and can continue to make money for years to come. It's worth it to invest your money in a good story, a quality script, a first rate cast. And a NEW story. Believe me, there ARE new stories to be told. We are not all out of stories and ideas in this world.

Oh, Hollywood, Hollywood! Won't you restore and revive yourself? Try and remember what once made you so great. You were once the most magical place on earth, not Disney! Rekindle that magic. Expect your stars to be stars! Expect them to behave, because when they are out and about, they are representing your industry - like it or not. Don't coddle those who throw temper tantrums and diva fits. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Remember you were once the World's guide to all things fashionable. Show the World that it is the fashion to be elegant, classy, sophisticated - and responsible. It is no longer in fashion to be drunken, drugged, cheap and out of control.

And reign in your directors and producers. Raise that bar back up where it belongs before it falls on the floor! Demand quality films! No more easy way out by half ass re-hashings of old movies and old tv shows to make a quick buck. Reclaim your dignity! You can do it! I think you'd be very surprised how many people out there would just love for you to do so.

(PS - for those who don't know: Pic 1: Ava Gardner, Pic 2: Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn, Pic 3: Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman, Pic 4: Elizabeth Taylor and Robert Taylor [no relation])