Have you missed me? Did you even notice my cyber-absence? Hmmmm......

Do you want to know where I've been? Why I couldn't post? Well, do you?

How does it feel to want? Is it a deep, aching feeling?

Ha! Sorry, couldn't resist. Feeling a little snarky today. I haven't had the best of days recently. Vampire stuff. I can't really tell you about it because I promised I wouldn't reveal things on here that would have any affect on my book or upcoming books. *sigh*

I know, I know. You're thinking 'why even mention it?'. Well, let me tell ya this much. If you'd been through what I've been through the past few days and you come home and find that nobody even seemed to have noticed you were gone, you'd be tempted to make a snarky post or two about it yourself. Don't deny it. You might think you wouldn't care or that there would be other things on your mind, but trust me. Your mind would be feeling pretty delicate and easily thrown off, especially when it was already in such a horrid state. Not to mention that every last nerve is way past its edge.

So, why am I here taking it out on you? Who else am I going to take it out on? Ben and Jerry? The Drake's duck? Aunt Jemima? The Pillsbury Dough Boy? I don't even have a gold fish or anything to commiserate with. Heck! I haven't even become attached to my new pillow yet!

I just want to say, this whole vampire thing.... I'm not sure it's all the movies make it out to be. Well, ok, maybe the ones that make it all gory and gross. But the sappy romantic ones. They are definitely leaving out some key elements.

This is going to take more than the ordinary chocolate fix. Have you ever seen the Vicar of Dibley? It's a great Britcom and there's one episode where they give the main character a chocolate fountain as a gift and she dives in head first. I think I need one of those - but dark chocolate or bittersweet please. No milk chocolate is going to cure this hurt! I need the hard stuff!

From time to time, I get asked things about my relationship with Kin, the people I mention in my book and what will happen in upcoming books, etc. I thought I would address a few of those things here.

I've been asked why I don't go into more detail in the love scenes. I did mention this before in another post, as well as in the book, but I'll mention it again. I may kiss and tell, but I don't 'you know what' and tell. At least not in detail. Personally, I can't stand reading things with ridiculous euphemisms for the male anatomy and silly, flowery descriptions of what goes on between a man and a woman. And I sure as heck am not about to reduce my personal love life to torrid, soft core porn for entertainment purposes. I've got nothing against erotica if that's what you're into. Great, go for it! But remember, I'm talking about my life. I'm baring my soul here. Let me keep something to myself.

Some have asked if certain types of creatures and supernatural beings will show up in my books. Really? Am I clairvoyant now? It wasn't so long ago I would have sworn on a stack of bibles.... hmm, yeah, I believe in God but not too religious. Ok. I would have sworn on the fate of every Ring Ding in the world that vampires absolutely did not exist. And yet... here I am blogging about my book series featuring my vampire boyfriend, not to mention shape shifters and faeries. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that these other species are real and in my life. I haven't considered the possibility of the existence of other beings let alone asked for confirmation or introductions. Please, I can only take so much in such a short period of time. If and when any new mythical creatures should become un-mythical (heaven help me!) you will read about them in my books.

I love this one. I have been asked if I am always so angry or always so quick to angry. Well, let me put it this way. Go back and make a list of all the things that happened to me and the time frame in which they happened. Keep in mind, among other factors, that I live in the house I grew up in, where I should always feel safe. That the only weapon I had against Leontine was that I could get under her skin. And that I was forced to place my trust and literally my life in the hands of my new vampire boyfriend whom I hardly new. And in case you didn't get it, I had just found out that vampires were real! I had a butt-load of really huge crap to try and deal with in less than 72 hours. It's easy to armchair quarterback and say what you think you would do or what you think I should have done, but unless you are actually there living it with your life on the line and your home being destroyed, you really don't know. Give me a little break, ok? And keep in mind that what you are seeing as anger might also be fear and insecurity. And I do believe that I happened to mention somewhere along the line that I was fond of sarcasm. :)

Are you ready for this one? Someone asked if I was "setting up" for a love triangle between me and Kin and Mike. Whoa!!! WTF? First of all, this is my life I am writing about. I am not "setting up" for anything. Second... ew! I think Mike is a great guy and all, but... aside from the fact that he's way too young for me, it would be like taking advantage of someone's little brother. I do not think of him that way. Not to mention, Kin and I are still at the beginning of our relationship and you are looking for me to screw it up by involving another vampire? What's wrong with you people?

And last but not least, will Kin and I get married. Ugh..... gee, good question. I have no freaking idea. We haven't been dating that long. Who knows what might happen?

So, I hope that answers some of your questions. Keep 'em coming!

Hero

I've been asked if book 2 will be coming out soon. Well, I suppose that depends on what you call 'soon'.

If all goes well, I hope to have book 2 available in December (don't hold me to it though, life with a vampire is very uncertain). Hmm. That would make a heck of a bumper sticker wouldn't it? "Life with a Vampire is uncertain". Can't argue with it.

Frankly, there's enough that's gone on for a few books, but I can only write so quickly. After all, I've got to actually live my life in the mean time and do all my work etc. But I'll do my best to get it out to you asap.

In fact... what am I doing here? I should be writing!

Catch ya later!

In case you haven't noticed, since I started this blog a few weeks ago, the post topics have been pretty varied. This is sort of the Seinfeld of blogs. It's the blog about nothing.

I notice most blogs have some sort of central theme. But here, you just never know what's going to be discussed. Even if I could think of one theme that I think I could talk about a lot, I don't really think I could stay on topic. Hell, I have trouble staying on topic just within a single post!

But it does make me think about this whole blogging thing. After all, I am still really new at this. It's not easy to think of things to post about day after day. So, let me hear from you. Aside from things that would impact my books, are there any topics you'd like to read about here? Things you're wondering about? Things that bug you and you want to know if others feel the same way? Let me know!

Do you get ticked off by people picking cans out of your trash? Are you irritated by ads for restaurants or stores that seem to be on every commercial break, but there aren't any located anywhere near you? Do you wonder how we ever stayed "regular" without special yogurt, vitamin supplements or fibrous breakfast cereals? Are you sick of low-quality remakes of movies and cheesy CGI film versions of Saturday morning cartoons? Jersey barriers: Do you think sometimes the road crews leave them there just to screw with you? Coffee rush traffic jams - why can't people make their own freaking coffee? The 3D obsession: Do we really need to see everything in 3D? The Hilarity of weird TV show names when scanning the Guide.

Give me a shout out. Tell me your thoughts and ideas.

Hero.

So what are we doing today, Hero? Well! I'm glad you asked!

Today, in honor of the anniversary of the Beatles traveling to Wales to study TM with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (yes, I was desperate for an anniversary to celebrate, it was either this or the organization of Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters in Harlem in 1925 - plus, I'm a Beatles fan) ahhh..... ok, lost my train of thought. Hang on....

Oh, right! Ok, in honor of the whole TM/Maharishi/Beatle thing back in 1967, I am giving away free copies of my book. Yup - that's right! FREE - I'll say it again..... Fuhhhhrrreeeeeeeee.

I'm not into the whole TM thing. You already know my mantra is Eat Chocolate Every Day and the closest I come to meditating is when I am completely engrossed in the delights of a container of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. So, in lieu of the search for inner peace (and we all know how that turned out - and if you don't, pick up a book - after you read mine, of course) I decided to offer my fans free copies of my book!

So - where are the free copies? Well, you didn't think I was going to make it easy did you? Come on people! When do I make things easy? (that was rhetorical) You want the free copy? You'll have to find it. After all - there's got to be some seeking involved - otherwise, where's the tie in?

Search the pages of this site to find a 5-digit alpha-numeric code that will give you 100% off Much Ado About Russian at Smashwords.com You can then download and start reading it immediately! Get MAAR for your Kindle, Nook, iPad, iPhone, Sony Reader, Palm, Kobo, even your PC. Just find the code and go HERE. But hurry - it's only good for today (August 25).

Prefer a hard copy? Well, I can't afford to give you those for free - those cost me $ (hey, I'm a self-publishes artist, give me a break) But I will offer it to you at 50% off. Just find an 8-digit Alpha only code and use it at my CreateSpace store. You must purchase it via this link HERE. Also only good for today.

NOTE: My CreateSpace Store is actually part of Amazon.com - so it is secure. But for some whacked up reason, Amazon's CreateSpace will let me offer coupons for my own shop but not for the actual Amazon.com site. Go figure!

So - got it?

FREE DIGITAL COPY - 5 digit alpha-numeric code and go HERE

HALF OFF HARD COPY - 8 digit alpha code and go HERE

Now - go on your quest - and have fun!

Hero

AND HEY! DON'T FORGET YOU CAN SHARE THIS AND OTHER POSTS WITH THE SHARE LINK AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE! - Go ahead - share the wealth on FaceBook, Twitter etc!

Yes, yes I am. And I have to say it's a relief to know someone (a lot of someones actually) know about it. It's not easy keeping it a secret from my friends. It's pretty easy keeping it from my family, since that's just my Dad and William and his stuck-up wife. They are detached enough that they wouldn't notice if I was dating a zombie with half his face hanging off. Not that I would ever do that, but then again, I never thought I would date a vampire. But really, who does?

Oh, sure, with all the Twilight hoopla going on there are a bunch of teens out there who might fantasize about dating a vampire, but they don't really expect to date one. Well, who knows? Some of them might be in for a BIG surprise one of these days. God knows I was.

As you may imagine, it's not something you can just bring up in casual conversation and expect your pals to take in stride. Or without an involuntary 3-day committal. So, I haven't told them, any of them. Of course, it helps that I've kept them away from Kin and vice versa. None of them have seen each other since the night we met. How long can I keep that up for? Besides, I want them all to be able to be part of my life together.

To the best of my knowledge, you can't take a Cosmo quiz for such things. It's a delicate situation to say the least, not to mention awkward, stressful, and nearly impossible. I mean, you've read the book (do I need to say it again?), when my friends get together there's drinking and eating and drinking. A vampire is going to stand out under such circumstances.

So...... until I can figure out how to keep my vampire lover's identity under wraps, I have to keep those two parts of my life separate - and no pun intended - but it sucks. I wonder if Dear Abby would post a reply if I sent her this one to ponder? Might be worth a laugh.

Well, it was one week ago today that I made my first blog post. Thank you! I've been very happy with all your comments and support. I even got a request for a blog topic!

Blogging isn't as easy as it looks. Well, not for me. And I don't know that I make it look all that easy. I don't want to blog about stuff that won't make sense to people who haven't read my book (have I mentioned that I'm not thrilled at having to keep saying that?), and I don't want to give things away about upcoming books (no matter how much some of you may like that). So, as you can see, I have to pick and choose my topics carefully. And yes, The Flintstones, Charles Manson, Project Runway, Massachusetts Drivers and Vampire Erections are examples of careful picking! Don't judge me.

But, I'd love to have some more interaction from you guys. More comments! Tell me what you think! What's your opinion? Let me know you're out there!

Some ideas for upcoming posts: Why dogs are better than cats (can't blame me for that one), The national debt, The dreadful trend of remaking movies, Yes, I can believe it's not butter, Low rise jeans: a clueless design or fashion's biggest joke?, Biological clocks - who's behind the ticking?, O.co - are we really that lazy? - and more.

Do have something you'd like to have me discuss? Drop me a line. I'll think about it. No promises though.

And in the meantime, for those of you who haven't already read it (and shame on you!), READ MY BOOK!

I've been watching PR since the beginning. Even though there have been a few season's I swore I wouldn't go back (*ahem* Gretchen!), but here I am again, watching the designers strut their stuff. What can I say, I just adore Tim Gunn.

But as annoying as it is every season that the judges seem to like people who are jerks that don't do as nearly as good of work as some of the other designers, what irritates me the most is Heidi's wardrobe. Hello? Pot calling the kettle black!

Here we have a perfect example. This is what Heidi wore for the judging segment of Project Runway Season 9, episode 2 this past week. Anyone else see something wrong here? Uh yeah! What the hell is with the reverse darts on the shoulders? They're ridiculous. You look like an idiot Heidi! But what really burns me is that if any of the designers had sent a dress like that down the runway not only would Heidi rake them over the coals for it, but you know Nina would tear them a new one over it and Michael would have some cute little quip that would be sound-bited all over the net the next day.

So, it begs the question... Why the hell is she wearing it?!?!? I've read a lot of comments over the years that allegedly Heidi wears clothing on the show from past contestants to try and help them. Really? Is this helping anybody? Who is this benefiting? And if that's the case, a disclaimer of some kind needs to be flashed on the screen absolving her of bad wardrobe choices.

For those of you who don't watch PR, don't think I'm jumping all over poor Heidi for one bad dress. This is a nasty habit. I wish that rotten cat-bitch hadn't destroyed all my dvds (read my book if that doesn't make sense) so I could go back through the seasons and find examples of other disasters. I do remember the judges bashing the hell out of a contestant for stretch pants on one episode and on the very next episode, isn't Heidi wearing stretch pants! My phone was ringing off the hook with my BFFs calling to say 'can you believe the nerve?'. And a similar thing happened once with someone using sequins or something similar on an outfit (not because they used too much but because they used them at all and it was 'dated') and sure enough an episode or two later, out comes Heidi with a shirt with shiny-glittery stuff all over it.

The hypocrisy is sometimes the funniest part of the show. I love the styling critiques they give. Nina Garcia hasn't changed anything in all the seasons of PR and yet she constantly talks about looking 'current'. Apparently Ms. Garcia thinks she is either above such things or her look is so classic it doesn't need updating.

And on a general note - is anyone else sick of hearing the word 'youthful'? I'm trying to figure out if they think fashion is only for 20-somethings or if fashionistas are just all in denial of their real age.

Oh, Tim, Tim. If only they would listen to you. You handle it all with such class. Hmmmm. Class...... Maybe that's what's needed. A little Tim Gunn training lol. At least if they didn't like something they wouldn't be so bitchy about it.

But back to my original thought. Heidi, I love you, hun, but in the words of Tim, you too often are not Making it Work. You know what they say about good intentions. Worry more about looking like a fool and a hypocrite and less about wearing something for a former contestant. Going by your choice last week, I'm sorry, but you're out.