Sooo... just some random thoughts that have been on my mind in regards to commercials.

Paper Towel Tantrum: I am SO sick of the paper towel ads that make is seem like a major felony to use more than 1 sheet of paper towel at a time. Seriously, how hard up do you have to be to be obsessed with someone using 3 sheets to clean up a big spill rather than 1? Aren't you more concerned with getting the mess cleaned up? Are you really going to be upset over the use of 2 sheets more than you think you could have made do with? If so, sorry, you've got some issues.

Marital Bliss?: Am I the only one that hates the commercial with the guy who goes to his wife in the greenhouse and tells her he signed up the family for unlimited calling and she says how she should have listened to her mother and married John Clark? I have a couple of issues with this commercial. One: they make the wife out to be a raving bitch. Nice, thank you. Obviously, if an announcement such as his triggers a reaction like that there are some series problems going on in that marriage. Two: Yeah, they were 'free' - free after he signed up for unlimited texting for the family. And we all know that texting is WAY more expensive than regular talking, so odds are he actually spent more for all that unlimited texting than she assumes he spent on the unlimited minutes. No matter how you look at it, the commercial is awkward and uncomfortable and sure as heck doesn't want to make me do business with that company.

May the Force Be With You: On the other hand, don't you just love the commercial with the kid dressed as Darth Vader whose dad makes the car click on and off and the kid thinks it's The Force? That is just awesome! What a really clever idea - kudos to the ad agency who came up with that one.

Where's the Beef: I admit it - I love that Wendy's is revitalizing their classic Where's the Beef campaign. You can't go wrong with a classic!

The Fabric of Whose Life Exactly?: Glad to see the Cotton people have decided to feature some attractive clothes for a change. Anyone remember the one with the bright orange and gold caftan that looked like it came from Mrs. Roper's closet? Don't ask me who was wearing it - she was blonde - but other than that it was too hard to focus on anything other than the incredibly hideous garment.

Eenie Meenie Minie Moe: Can't recall the brand but some uber clever ad guys scored with a great commercial for a pack of gum that contains 2 different flavors. The guy does the old 'eenie meenie' to choose which flavor to have and finds himself with a very large tiger sitting beside him; his caught "toe" in the guy's lap. The guy is dumbfounded and more than a little nervous. Then the tiger says "You're not going to make me holler are you?" Priceless!

The Magic Island: I'm pretty sure it's Target that has an ad where they say 'this house runs on island time' and then they show the family gathered around the kitchen island doing various kitchen things and using appliances like coffee makers and Kitchenaide mixers, griddles, crock pots etc. But here's the thing. There are no outlets on that island. There's no cord on that coffee maker at the beginning of the ad. In fact you never see the cords on any of the appliances. There's no place to plug in that mixer or anything else if they did have their cords. And if you're thinking that the outlets are on the side of the island, the camera shows it fully at the end. No outlets. So it must be a magic island. Wonder if they stock those at Target?

You see them every week. They are more imperishable than cockroaches. Garbage pickers. No, I don't mean the guys who go through the crap some guy has hoarded in his bard for the past 50 years to find some treasure to restore. I'm talking about the people who come around and take all your recycling and then pick through your garbage cans just in case you forgot to put a can into the recycling bin.

I know it's a strong word, but it really applies here. I hate them. Yes, hate. I know they say once you put the garbage on the curb it's not yours anymore, but let me ask you this; what about those of us who live on narrow streets with no sidewalk and our trash cans and recycle bins never actually leave our property? How is that different than when my trash cans are down by the side of my house all the rest of the week?

You're probably asking why I care and guess what? I'm going to tell you. I care for a couple of reasons. For one thing, it's unsanitary. With all the disease problems we have these days and i watch these parasites go from one set of trash to another, never restricting themselves to solely the recycle bin. Always going into the trash bags, tearing them open and rummaging around then moving on the next house. That's disgusting! And you come home without thinking a thing about it and grab that barrel and lid and put them back together and drag them back down where they belong, and now all those lovely germs gathered from dozens and dozens of bags of trash before you are all on your hands and clothes.

Then there's the fact that they are tearing open these bags. You take the care to make sure everything is securely ties up and now if it's a windy day suddenly your street is covered in trash, thanks to the pickers. And the trash collectors aren't going to pick it up. It will blow all over the street, your yard, your neighbor's yards. How nice.

And then there's this. This is what really annoys me. I don't know how it works where you live, but in my town, our recycling bin is supplied to us by the town. It is designated for recyclables that the town has contracted with a company to pick up and dispose of. My town receives an amount of money based on the amount of recycling gathered and that money goes to help my town. Now some people might say 'Oh how much could they really be getting? It's not enough to matter." Really? Consider this: one trash picker makes enough from collecting cans to make his car payments and pay his car insurance. That's just one person out of dozens - literally dozens - picking trash in one town. Add all that up and think what that might come out to. It would come out to a lot of reduced or free lunches for needy kids at the schools as well as other educational programs. Actually, it doesn't really matter what it would be used for, the point is, it would be used for something that tax dollars wouldn't be needed for.

Now, when I drink my Diet Sprite and rinse out the can and put it in my recycling bin, I have a choice. I can choose to take those cans back to the store and get the deposit back for myself, or I can choose to put my town provided recycling bin out for the town contracted recycling company to pick up so that the money for those recyclables will go to benefit my town. At no point in time am I making a choice to have some low life come and pick through my garbage, spreading disease and take money away from my town so they can drive a better car than I do without bothering to work a regular job for it.

I really believe a low should be passed. If someone puts their recycling in those town/city provided bins and puts them on the curb on pickup day, they should then be considered property of the town and to collect them should be stealing. That would put and end to the trash pickers.

I admit, I love a bunch of YA shows like Pretty Little Liars, Switched at Birth, The Lying Game etc. And I've been seeing ads for all the new Fall shows coming on. It occurred to me that almost all of the female leads in just about all of these shows have a butt-load of money. Ok, they're parents do, but it amounts to the same thing.

They wear expensive clothes, have their own cars at 16, naturally have cell phones and laptops. That goes without saying. But the clothes! And the accessories! Unless they're using really good knock-offs, some of these teens are sporting bags that cost more than I earn in a month!

It's pretty sad when a woman in her 30s is watching a show about a 16 year-old and envying her enormous walk-in closet full of designer clothes, shoes and accessories that's bigger than my bathroom. Yeah, ok, it's fiction, I get it, but still. The people writing these books that the shows are based off of, the people buying and reading these books, and the execs deciding to buy the rights to these books and make them into shows obviously think this is a reasonable portrayal.

And on one show, a parent was cavalierly going to write his son a check for up to $1,000 for settling a poker debt! Again! Even though he was perturbed that this was a recurring problem, he was still quick to pull out the checkbook and offer up the money. When he started quoting figures up around three grand then he got really angry. And, same show, the parents called in the two daughters sick to school to go out shopping for cars for their 16th birthday. Yeah, because they don't sell cars on weekends.

But even the shows that try and come off as more mainstream, I just keep looking at the way these girls dress and they are almost always in dresses or skirts and humongous heels and super decked out. When I was in high school - which wasn't all that long ago - if you got dolled up like that you were trying too hard to impress someone. What happened to jeans and hoodies? Apparently, none of these families have heard of Old Navy.

And they can all go out any time of the day and night. Yeah, I know, it would screw up the plot line otherwise. I guess part of me is jealous. I want to go back to being 16 with a new sports car, a wardrobe that cost more than the yearly income of Average American Worker, and is so vast I almost never have to wear the same thing twice. I want to wear Mac and other designer make-up when I'm still a kid instead of Cover Girl and Maybelline and whatever's on sale at CVS. I want designer shoes and boots to coordinate with each and every outfit, with matching purses. None of this one purse in the Fall for Back to School and you use it until it wear out crap. Oh wait! I still do that.

What is with the bizarre Dairy Queen commercials? Bubbles with kittens? Rock n' roll falcons? Mary Lou Retton in a piñata? Does any of that make you want to run out and buy a Blizzard?

Well, ok, granted, if you're anything like me, just the mere mention of Dairy Queen is enough to make you want a blizzard. But seriously, is this an effective ad campaign? Is Dairy Queen aka DQ not already a household brand, known far and wide across the USA? It's not like an upstart company trying to build brand recognition with crack-pot guerrilla tactic advertising. They're already well established.

Sooooooooo - then what the hell's up with the dumb ass commercials? I don't think they are clever or funny. In fact, it makes me question the sanity of both DQs top executives and the PR firm they are using. Just think - somewhere there is someone getting paid a ridiculous amount of money for this ad campaign. It boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Not that their previous campaign with the disembodied talking lips was much better. Too Rocky Horror. And I love Rocky Horror. I'm a member of the Official Fan Club! But I don't want Rocky Horror hawking my DQ. Just too creepy.

Oh you silly, silly DQ people. Don't you realize that your products sell themselves? Don't you know that in places where your shops are only open seasonally, customers go running through the streets announcing opening day like Steve Martin getting a new phone book?

Hey - go back to using the Dennis the Menace kids! They were cute. Who doesn't like cartoon kids? Better than a rock n' roll falcon. Even if he does mention Boston.

Is this the 1950's again? Did I miss the ride in the souped up DeLorean? Where are the saddle shoes, bobby socks, crew cuts and Letterman jackets? Are those 45s of Fats Domino, Little Richard, Elvis and the Everly Brothers I hear pumping out of the old Wurlitzer? Hello? McFly?

Well, then explain to me the huge rash of 3D everywhere you look. 3D movies aren't enough. Oh no. No, we've got to have 3D televisions in our home now! We even have to branch out into 4D with scratch n' sniff (I've got one word - Polyester - look it up if you don't get the reference).

Ok, fine so 3D effects are cool, but how cool are they when you see them in every other movie? And what's going to happen next? Will stores start selling designer 3D glasses for those that are too chic for the paper style? Can't you just see it now. Special kiosks in the mega-plex theater filled with 3D glasses by Marc Jacobs, Playboy, Gucci, Channel, Dolce & Gabanna, Versace, DKNY, perhaps Disney and Nick will have their own lines for the tots. What am I saying? No maybe about it! If there's a market to be cashed in on you know they'll be leading the way.

Ugh! Can't you just see the Old Navy mannequins hawking them now? In a rainbow of colors for the whole family! *squee!* Combine that with the 3D effects and you'll need to be selling anti-nausea medicine at the concession stands.

Franky, I think it's just another way for Hollywood to cover up that it just keeps cranking out one crappy movie after another. Gee, if we dazzle them with 3D, not only will they pay to see it in the theater, netting us more cash, but they will hardly notice how much it sucks!

Don't buy into the propaganda people! Demand quality movies with quality stories, casting and directing, not just cool effects.

Now before you go jumping to conclusions, when I say it's sad, I don't mean that the people who participate in online dating are sad ie: pathetic. What I mean is I think it's sad that our society has, I hate to say evolved, but for lack of a better word, evolved to a state where our physical interaction with people has become so limited where we truly have a need for online dating services.

I love my computer as much as anyone. Heck! I'd be deep doo doo without it. I make my living with it. But between the internet and cell phones and texting and on and on, we have become so technologically advanced that we've advanced ourselves right out of normal social interaction.

We all have SO many friends these days! But... what percentage of those friends are from FaceBook and not actually part of your physical day to day life? (you will note I do not say 'real life') I've connected with old friends and made new ones online too, but how many of them have I actually seen face to face? Damn few. Even the actual friends that are part of your physical life you don't see as often as you might have ten years ago. Why? Because now you can text them and email them and keep up to date on FaceBook and Twitter. You don't really need to make time to be together in person to catch up with one another, you can do it through technology when it's convenient.

So it's no wonder why people have to resort to meeting potential mates via computer dating services. Their opportunities for meeting new people in person have dwindled as their virtual worlds have grown. While I am glad that the people who use those sites are finding happiness, I just can't help feel sad that they are not meeting them the old fashioned way. You see someone; you feel a spark; you flirt; you ask about him/her; all the fun and mystery that goes into meeting someone new and getting their interest. It just doesn't hold any romance to me to be matched by a computer.

And again, I love my computer. And I value all the friends I've made and reconnected with online. I just wish we didn't have to trade so much face to face time for face to screen time.
As much as we gain by being able to connect globally via the internet, we also miss out on a lot.

We've all been there. The supermarket. You've got your cart filled, you're nearing the end of your list. Just a few more items. You turn into the isle to get one of those final items and.... *screech!* You have to come to a grinding halt because the stock person (very PC of me, I know) is restocking a shelf. Apparently a critically important shelf, because not only is he restocking it, but he must keep all shoppers from coming anywhere near the general vicinity of the fresh stock by parking his big ass stocking cart smack dab in the middle of the isle.

So, you pause there a moment, thinking, as most rational people would, that the clueless clerk will realize you're there and he has thoughtlessly blocked the way and will move the cart, apologizing politely as he does so. Wrong! If you think that's going to happen, you underestimate the training these clerks have had. You see, they have been trained to be so single minded in their tasks that not only are they completely unaware that you need to get by them, they don't even realize there is anyone else in the isle! It's sort of like reverting to selective hearing as a child, except they have been trained by experts.

And why would supermarket management train them to do this you ask? Simple! In fact, it's rather obvious. If we can't get by them, it means we must go around them. So, we go down another isle. An isle we may have already been down, or had no intention of going down. Our flow has been interrupted. We've been annoyed, frustrated and are now even more prone to impulse buying. Don't laugh. You can't tell me that if you get pissed off in the supermarket that the box of Double Stuff Oreos you showed amazing willpower over five minutes ago won't find it's way into your cart if you are forced to travel by them again in an agitated state. After all, now you deserve them!

Paranoid? Perhaps. But when the world is out there plotting against you, paranoid is just good thinking.

You must have noticed that on almost any network that has commercials you will see constant ads for multiple air scent products. There are sprays, plug-ins, solids, automatic motion sensing, oils, diffusers, and an endless array of candles.

We seem to be a society obsessed with our air smelling like anything but air. Now, I get the need for a bit of air freshener in the kitchen after you've cooked certain foods and well, not to be indelicate, in the bathroom. However, do we really need a Glade Plug-In or Febreeze Flameless Luminary in every room of the house?

I enjoy the scent of a nice candle as much as anyone. Hey, I live in the land of Yankee Candle! But that's something for once in a while. It's something to treat yourself to, to luxuriate it. If you have it going in every corner of the house every waking moment... ugh! I'd have a headache.

What the heck is wrong with just a nice clean house and open windows with fresh clean air? Ok, so maybe some of you are unfortunate enough to live in close proximity to the local dump, or certain industrial plants that make open windows and fresh air an impossibility, but for most of us, that is a viable option.

I have to laugh watching the commercials where the people walk past the air freshener product and raise their nose in the air like a dog walking by a table full of food. They sniff, inhale deeply and they smile contentedly. Yeah, nice job Madison Ave. That's all we need to be happy at home. The scent of tropical flowers and vanilla. Oh! If only our parents' generation could have realized this! What a blissfully different home-life we would have had. Our parents wouldn't have been as stressed or grouchy. A puff of jasmine laced air would have instantly soothed away all the difficulties of the day. Are you ready to gag yet?

And in the meantime, we spend tons of money every year on this crap - and not just for ourselves, but for others! We give them as gifts! We impose our obsession with scented air onto others! They really have us hooked.

Now, before you go posting replies yelling at me because you love your Febreeze or Glade candles or whatever, let me restate, I do like candles etc - sometimes. I'm just saying these companies and their advertising have made a lot of people feel like we've got to have the air around us scented 24/7. All I'm saying is, what's wrong with just plain old fresh air? If your home is clean and there are no outside forces keeping you from opening your windows, why not just enjoy clean, fresh air? Save the scented stuff for when you need it and when you feel like treating yourself. Make it something special.

Oh - one last thought. Am I the only one that hated those stupid commercials where the dumb woman would try and pass off the Glade candles as designer candles and they'd call them Gla-de. Really? Who honestly cares if someone's candles are designer? Designer candles? Sorry, I think I'd have to slap somebody if they got all worked up over whether a candle was designer or came from the grocery store. And don't even get me started on the Febreeze ads with the morons who put their faces into places they know smell bad and inhale!

So, yesterday's post about the People of Walmart has led me to the inevitable follow up: Low Rise Jeans: A Clueless Trend or Fashion's Biggest Joke?

Seriously people, we've all heard the 'crack kills' jokes - and seen them too, yet we support an industry that sells a style of jean specifically designed to leave your butt crack hanging out. I'm sorry, but I don't care who you are - that is NOT a good look. I doesn't matter if you want to show off your tramp stamp or flaunt your skeletal figure. Butt Crack = Bad Look. Period. Every time.

And what's worse is that they don't restrict such revealing styles just to those who have tiny figures that you could get by with having to deal with a certain amount of butt crack - if forced. Oh no! They make them in all sizes! Including plus size and children's.

Give me fricking break! We live in a society riddled with pedophiles and parents go out shopping for their 6 year-olds and are lucky if they can find a normal pair of jeans. Nope, they are all low rise so their tiny little bodies are all dressed up sexy like a grown woman and their teeny little but cracks are hanging out every time the sit down or bend. Nice. Really nice. I know I've heard my friends with kids complain about this for the past couple of years. Parents are forced to buy them because there is no alternative for jeans out there. The only other choice is to put them in leggings every day, which might not be bad in some climates, but here in New England, you want to be able to put them in jeans in the winter months.

And what about those poor plus size women? Come on jean companies! Get a clue! You can make stylish jeans for women who wear bigger than a size 8 without making them look like they are wearing ill fitting pants or granny jeans. If some woman is wearing a size 28 jean, she wants it to come up around her waist - not on her hips. No large woman wants her pants to stop at her hips (unless she's completely clueless - please refer to yesterday's blog post about People of Walmart).

But even skinny women, when they sit down or bend over, 99% of the time, you're seeing stuff you don't want to see (and if you want to see that - please go find another blog to haunt, we don't go in for that sick crap here).

But it's the consumer that's ultimately to blame. People keep buying them, so the industry thinks we want them, so that's what they keep making. So knock it off already!

How many years has this been going on now? Twenty-five years? Have they managed to convince you yet? Not me, brother! Frankly, you might be able to pass that crap off as a few things, but butter isn't one of them.

But the nice people who also brought us Promise spread think that cute advertising will make us forget how awful this stuff tastes. Really guys, Fabio? Oh sure! If Fabio eats it, well hell! It MUST taste like real butter! Come on, Ethel, it's on sale down at the Piggly Wiggly! Let's go stock up!

I don't know if Jeff Foxworthy has ever done a monologue on this topic, but it's just screaming out for him to do one IMO.

Or how about the more recent ones with the over the hill chick from Sex and the City. You know, the one who wins the Emmy for biggest case of denial of real age in an actress? Yeah, that's the one. She's slinking around, looking like someone who's had too much work done, wearing too much makeup and wearing an outfit, that aside from being too young for her, does nothing for her. If it were supposed to be humorous then that would be fine, but it's not. You know what's supposed to be funny? There's a hot guy in the commercial young enough to be her son and she makes some stupid comment about how to make French toast. The hottie feeds her a bit of toast and says "oui". Yes, that is the punchline. They paid an advertising company for that little beauty. Staggers the imagination, doesn't it.

Frankly, it makes me wonder what kind of qualifications you have to work for one of these PR firms that does commercial advertising. Seriously! Man, some of these brands could run contests at a local high school and come up with a brilliant campaign for the cost of a college tuition bond or whatever and save a lot of money and embarrassment.

Not to mention, people, please - who came up with the name? A double negative? Was it really the best of all possible names you could come up with? Think about it. For days, weeks, maybe even months, people sat around offices and conference rooms and brainstormed about what to call this product. Focus group studies were probably conducted, markets tested. And yet, this was the best of the bunch. I don't know about you, but that doesn't exactly fill me with confidence in the company making the product.

So, for the record, I CAN tell it's not butter. If you can't, then perhaps you've never actually had real butter. Trust me - there's a BIG difference.

You often hear people speak of the "Golden Era" of Hollywood. That time in history when studios competed against one another for supremacy; to be the yardstick by which all other movie studios were measured. When stars were truly stars; paragons of style, elegance and class adored and admired by millions of fans all over the world.

Studios created the stars then. They were factories of illusion and magic, and while there were some definite disadvantages to the old studio system, when we look back at it all you can't help but think that some of their ways had their merit. They controlled the publicity, so all you heard were good things, upbeat and happy things. Sure, there was a lot of denial and even out right lies, but it wasn't all rehab and divorce and affairs and scandals. Celebrities were expected to keep up appearances if they wanted to keep their contracts. No rowdy underage partying til all hours of the morning and rumors of substance abuse, etc. Basically, no acting like a spoiled little princess that the world revolves around who can say and do as she pleases and the rest of the world just has to cope with it, and when you do finally have to pay the piper you blame your parents. (*ahem* I'm sure you can think of more than one disastrous diva who fits that bill).

Nope - if you wanted to be a star in Hollywood, you had to tow the line. Oh sure, if you were really big you could get away with a certain amount of foolishness, and of course all homosexuals were kept securely in their closets, but you had to answer to someone (actually a lot of someones) if you didn't behave. Call me old fashioned but I like that concept.

Of course, I suppose some will say 'oh but they're real people they should be able to show their real emotions and behave like normal people....' Excuse me?! Are you telling me Lindsay Lohan behaves like normal people? Hardly! No, they think they can act anyway they want because they're famous. If they were just normal everyday people with 9 to 5 jobs, or full time school, they would not behave like they do. And of course, they do have real emotions etc, etc. but when they are out somewhere at a function or event, they are working and need to handle themselves professionally. And even when they go out to a nightclub or a restaurant, they trade on their reputations. It's not outrageous to expect a certain level of behavior.

Though, yes, there are some who do handle themselves quite well, I don't mean to imply that all Hollywood is out of control. But even still, it's not the same. There's no real glamor. That true star quality is lost. We'll never have another Cary Grant, another Grace Kelly, another Clark Gable or Tyrone Power, another Elizabeth Taylor or Ingrid Bergman. Gone are the Bette Davis' and Jimmy Stewart's of the silver screen. Sure, we have our Tom Hanks. How can you knock him? But as wonderful as he is and as fabulous as his accomplishments have been, he just isn't quite up to that caliber, though possibly the closest our generation might have. Alright, George Clooney comes damn close to the style and charisma, though it did take him most of his career to achieve it (I remember him in a comedy show called ER even before he was on Roseanne!). I'll give you that he comes about as close as anyone I can think of to channeling that old Hollywood glamor.

And yes, we have lots of lovely actresses and greatly talented ones too. But I'm sorry, I like Julia Roberts, but she's no Ingrid Bergman. Though I will say I think Halle Berry is quite possibly one of the most naturally beautiful women in the entire world. Close cropped hair, not a stich of makeup and in jeans and a t-shirt and the woman is still breath-taking. There's a certain charm, a grace, an indescribable quality that's been lost somewhere along the way and I think it's due in part to losing the mystery of what makes a star a star. They are all so intent on showing you how regular and normal they are (well most of them). They don't care about being seen without makeup, dressed in sloppy clothes with their hair not done. Today's stars don't want there to be any illusion. And while I can see their side, I can't help the feeling that it's a shame. The believing that they were somehow above the everyday people, while, yes, being snotty and presumptuous, also added to the magic. It was part of the dream. If becoming a movie star or a rock star or whatever is looked at as no more different or special than becoming a dentist or a lawyer (simply something you have to train for and get a good break on to be successful), then where's the dream? What's happened to the magic?

(Now, don't get confused, if you are like some people I know who just breeze through, you might think I am contradicting myself, saying oh they think they don't have to answer to anyone etc, and then saying oh remember when they seemed above us all, but you have to really read and comprehend the full substance of those paragraphs. There IS a difference.)

And there, in large part I think, lies part of the trouble with Hollywood today. Where's the magic? Stop remaking old movies. Stop going for the quick, cheap laugh. Worry about crafting quality movies with valuable stories. I don't mean valuable in the sense of they all have to have a moral etc. I mean valuable in the sense that they are worth telling and worth telling beautifully. I know not as many people are willing to pay full price for a theater ticket any more so they cater to certain types of audiences they think will pay the price of admission. They don't realize how short sighted that is. Movies have longevity and can continue to make money for years to come. It's worth it to invest your money in a good story, a quality script, a first rate cast. And a NEW story. Believe me, there ARE new stories to be told. We are not all out of stories and ideas in this world.

Oh, Hollywood, Hollywood! Won't you restore and revive yourself? Try and remember what once made you so great. You were once the most magical place on earth, not Disney! Rekindle that magic. Expect your stars to be stars! Expect them to behave, because when they are out and about, they are representing your industry - like it or not. Don't coddle those who throw temper tantrums and diva fits. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Remember you were once the World's guide to all things fashionable. Show the World that it is the fashion to be elegant, classy, sophisticated - and responsible. It is no longer in fashion to be drunken, drugged, cheap and out of control.

And reign in your directors and producers. Raise that bar back up where it belongs before it falls on the floor! Demand quality films! No more easy way out by half ass re-hashings of old movies and old tv shows to make a quick buck. Reclaim your dignity! You can do it! I think you'd be very surprised how many people out there would just love for you to do so.

(PS - for those who don't know: Pic 1: Ava Gardner, Pic 2: Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn, Pic 3: Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman, Pic 4: Elizabeth Taylor and Robert Taylor [no relation])

I'm sure you've seen them by now, the commercials announcing Overstock.com's new shortcut - O.co. ......... Yeah... seriously. Are we THAT lazy? We can't even type out a simple to remember website like overstock.com? And not even O.com - which isn't a currently existing website - so it's not like somebody already owns it. We can't even manage the "m" at the end of .com. How pathetic.

Is this really going to help them? Are people going to say "Gee, now that I have to type so many less letters to get there I'm going to shop there more!" Can't see that happening, can you? Do they believe shoppers are that stupid as well as lazy? Doesn't say much to me about them as a company or their feelings about their customers/target audience.

In fact, let's think about this: How much has this cost them? The new domain - the new .co thing - I have no idea if that costs. All the new advertising to promote the lazy-ass url. What could that money have been put towards instead? Oh! Here's a radical idea - how about lowering prices! No matter what they advertise I have never found their prices that great. Sure if you take the time to browse around you can find a good deal here and there, but it's hardly a bargain bonanza. To be honest, I've only ever ordered from them once - sheets. It was a good deal. Nice sale, not a huge savings over other sites, but I had a coupon and they were running a free shipping promotion. But I wouldn't have ordered otherwise since I found the same sheets for a little less somewhere else (but the coupon wasn't good for that site, so....)

Frankly, the only thing I use Overstock for is a barometer as to whether or not I've found a good price on an item somewhere else. If I'm looking for a shower gift etc., I'll look up what I want on Overstock (I refuse to call it O.co) and then use their price as an indication of whether or not I'm getting a good deal elsewhere. Hope you were paying attention to that. That means - if you can find it on their website, the odds are good (very good) that you will find it for less elsewhere.

But, if you are one of the dim-witted sheep that Overstock is appealing to (or trying to appeal to) apparently this doesn't matter you. Saving your fingers from the exhausting task of typing in those extra 9 letters is surely worth any premium you'll pay on products. (and you will pay)

So, congrats Overstock and whatever advertising/pr firm you are paying way too much for. You have either struck upon a great concept to attract the truly idiotic, yet well-heeled online shopper, or you've just spent a lot of money to make yourself look like a bunch of idiots with little respect for your customers.

On this day in history in 1988 the Boston Red Sox won an AL record setting 24 home games in a row. So... I thought today's topic would involve sports. And since I'm no big fan of sports (sorry guys), it's only natural that I would blog about one of my biggest pet peeves: The ridiculous salaries professional athletes get paid.

I know, I know. They claim they are "entertainers" so they feel justified asking for salaries akin to the biggest box office stars in the world. But they are missing a REALLY big part of the picture when it comes to movie stars.

Think about this:

When an athlete plays a game, that's it. It just lasts for the game. Sure they'll recap it on the news and weekly sport shows, but unless something phenomenal happens, that's it. So the team owner only has one chance each time that player "performs" to recoup some of the cost of their contract.

Now take a movie star. They make a movie and it's released to theaters, thus earning the studio and production company(s) money. It's put on Pay Per View/On Demand for a fee and earns more money. It gets shown on cable and tv, earning more money. It's available to rent and but in stores, at Netflix, Amazon etc., earning even more money. Every time it is shown, rented, selected On Demand and purchased for decades to come, it earns money. If it has a good soundtrack, the soundtrack will sell and earn money. If applicable, there will be posters, toys, clothing and other licensed products, earning even more money. So, as you can see, there are a whole bunch of ways to recoup the cost of an actor's contract over a great many years.

Even if a player is really popular and the team licenses items with the player's name and likeness, those items are generally only good while that player is riding high. There is a very limited window for a team owner to earn any of the money back they put out for player contracts.

That is unless they hike up the cost of tickets so high that it's nearly impossible to afford to take your kids to a ball game. Why should we have to bear the burden of their super-egos? They're playing a game for crying out loud! And don't whine to me about how it just takes one injury to ruin their careers. Most of these guys got free rides through college. If they don't have a career to fall back on that's their fault (and a disgrace if you ask me). I'm not going to feel bad for them.

Take the example of NY Yankee Carl Pavano (yes, I'm going to pick on a Yankee). He was signed to a $39.95 million dollar contract over a four year period. Just three months after starting, Pavano had a shoulder injury, followed by a series of other injuries such as bruised buttocks (no, I'm not making that up) and ribs that were broken in a car accident (obviously not a work related injury) and yet, he got paid. So, in essence, the Yankees paid him approx. $4.43 million for each of the nine winning games he played. Can you really say that any player is worth nearly four and a half million dollars a game?

There was a time when professional athletes had to maintain regular jobs off season to support their families. They played for the love of the game. Now they play for the love of money and the chance to win endorsement contracts.

So sure, I may sing along with "Sweet Caroline" and I'll taunt a Yankees fan if given the chance, but really, I just don't care about sports at all. Overpaid narcissists who get their wads of cash even if they don't work (would you get paid your full salary for not being able to do your job for a year?).

But as long as fans (short for fanatics) are willing to shell out the exorbitant ticket fees, the owners will continue to charge more and more to pay the Prima Donnas their vanity wages.

Save your money to help starving indie-authors and buy their books!

What? I'm not the only self-published author you know.

Hero