Friday, September 23, 2011

What To Do When Chocolate Can't Solve Your Problem


I hope you are all sitting down while you read this. If not, go get a chair. We'll wait.....

Ok, so, what happens in the dreadful, horrendous, inexplicably bone chilling event that you have a problem which can not be solved, or at least be significantly improved via a chocolate infusion? Dear God! Just typing that made me shiver!

Try not to panic, it is a very rare occurrence, I assure you, but since I recently underwent an ordeal of such Gothic and terrifying proportions that even my beloved Ring Dings and New York Super Fudge Chunk were unable to deliver me. Talk about adding insult to injury. Kick a woman while she's down! Oh! The cruel cosmic injustice of it all!

I can't divulge the details of what I endured recently, (sorry, read the page on A Promise), but let's just say getting back to my own home, and getting my hands on large quantities of chocolate were uppermost in my mind once I knew I was safe. And yet, I was left flat.

Oh sure, it was tasty and felt good to have the delicious treats. Don't get me wrong on that score. But there was no uplifting, no sense of well-being and 'all is right with the world' that normally comes from the bliss of eating such delights. Chocolate *gasp* had let me down.

I know, I know. It's a bitter pill to swallow. And I thought I could sink no lower. So, I had some tea - with cookies of course. The tea was soothing on my raw nerves, though again not as much as I'd hoped, but at least I could tell a difference had been made. I moved on to sleep, which was restless and less than peaceful.

In the morning, I tried again, going for the Cocoa Pebbles. Nothing. In desperation, I broke out the big guns, my 'Break Glass in Case of Emergency' chocolate: The Giant Toblerone. Not the ones you find in any old store, oh no, the great big ones that you sometimes see at Christmas and wonder 'who the hell eats a candy bar that big?'. Well, your question has been answered.

It was heavenly. It was also far too much and I got a sugar rush, a headache and a toothache. Don't you dare give me a 'serves you right'. You have no idea what I've been through! But still, the wounds of my tribulation remained.

So, I guess the answer is this: Time may heal all wounds, but chocolate, only some. Consider this a PSA.

1 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL!!! New York Super Fudge Chunk ROCKS!!!! So does Chunky Monkey when I can't find the other. Chocolate is my go-to also. LOL

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